Mentalist Jack Nasher offers tips to help you appear more competent, attractive, intelligent and important.
Associate Yourself with Good News
Positive news radiates positively over every other aspect of a person or event, and bad news does so negatively.
Always deliver good news face-to-face, not by phone or email. If you make a presentation sharing good news, stretch it out as long as possible. After your presentation, don’t immediately retreat from the podium. Every second you stand there, you will solidify your association with that good news.
Projecting Competence
Use the technique of priming your audience by projecting competence from within.
For example, suppose your boss asks you to stand in front of your colleagues and answer several questions. “What are you good at?” “What was your greatest professional success?” “Why should you, of all people, take on the responsibility for an upcoming project?”
Prime yourself by developing answers in advance to these and other likely questions.
Ted kennedy didn’t know why he was running for president
In 1980, Senator Ted Kennedy campaigned for the US presidency. During a high-profile TV interview, the anchor asked Kennedy, “Why are you running for president?” Ten incredibly long seconds passed—an eternity of dead air—before Kennedy came up with an answer. This was the exact point at which Kennedy’s presidential campaign began to go downhill.
Prime yourself to answer probable questions from bosses, clients, and job interviewers. Have clear answers ready.
The Power Of Symbols
Many perceptions rely on symbols. Status symbols such as a company car, a title on a business card, a frequent flyer card, and a corporate credit card will shape what people think about you and how they act toward you. You can control some of the powerful symbols that help define you in the world.
Physical Attractiveness
Personal attractiveness has been a compelling factor for humankind since the Stone Age.
Keep in mind how people perceive beauty.
Remember four factors when it comes to physical attractiveness:
For women, what counts most is physique – your weight vis-à-vis your proportions.
For men, what counts most is facial attractiveness.
When it comes to women’s faces, most people prefer features like full lips, big eyes, and a small nose.
The Competence Formula
You can’t directly assess the factor by which competence contributes to successful performance and/or achievement. Many aspects play a part in any successful outcome. Elements of the competence formula include performance, ability, motivation, dealing with difficulty, and luck.
The Intelligence Checklist
- Does the person ask intelligent questions?
- Can this person separate important from unimportant factors?
- When you present a particular issue that needs resolution, does he or she respond with the most logical, appropriate answers?
- Is the person able to consider all the possible options for resolving the issue?
- Can he or she properly weigh the pros and cons for each option?
Communication Matters
Master verbal and nonverbal communication.
Your perceived competence will increase in proportion to your appeal and popularity. Display tact, sincerity, and confidence.
Build your habitus—the way you look and act—as the most accurate indicator of your ability using the “power of symbols.”
It’s challenging to assess other people’s competence; it’s simpler to assess their incompetence.
Showcase Your Skills
Competence or even brilliance is not always obvious. You must demonstrate your abilities so that they have the greatest impact on the people you want to impress.
No amount of brilliance can speak for itself. In fact, no one will care if you’re the best in the world.
Control people’s expectations so that they will regard you as competent.
To demonstrate your competence, use “expectation management” to direct other people’s anticipation and shape positive perceptions of your competence. When you help people reduce or eliminate their anxiety about dealing with a stranger—in this case, you—you benefit. Demonstrate confidence in yourself. Subtly refer to your past successes in areas that matter to those whose support you require.
Prove Your Competence & Win People Over
- Use the “impression management” methods of the “eight pillars of competence” to persuade people of your expertise.
- Competence and genius aren’t always obvious; you have to demonstrate them.
- Control people’s expectations so that they will regard you as capable.
- Identify with the positive news.
- Showcase particular examples of the “competence formula” components of performance, ability, motivation, overcoming obstacles, and chance.
Habitus: The Visible Stuff You Project
People use habitus to determine someone’s status, and it’s the most reliable measure of a person’s competence. The habitus elements you choose will define you to the world. Your clothing, your lifestyle choices, and so on will affect how others perceive you and your competence.
How To Spot Intelligence
Highly intelligent people generally:
- Speak confidently and without hesitation.
- Maintain constant eye contact when speaking to others.
- Have a lot of confidence.
- Be vigilant and quick to respond.
Master Verbal and Nonverbal Communication
More than any other technique, “power talking” will enable you to maximize how others perceive your competence.
Success or failure has surprisingly little influence on the perception of competence. One can appear competent despite vast failure and seem incompetent in the midst of immense success.
Your speech patterns
Powerless speech indicates a lack of status. On the other hand, power talk suggests elevated social status. To speak powerfully, avoid the “uhs.” Don’t repeat yourself. Make your speech and speech patterns crystal clear and direct.
Women routinely fall into “powerless speech patterns,” including showing hesitation, trivializing phrases such as “you know” or “pretty good,” and excessive politeness, for example, “Won’t you please close the door?”
Impression Management
It’s not your actual competence that counts. It’s how people perceive your competence that makes the difference. You can apply impression management techniques, tools, and tactics to convince others of your competence. Persuading others gives you a tremendous advantage over people who are equally competent but can’t differentiate themselves.
The Halo Effect
The greater your attraction and popularity, the greater will be your perceived competence. Project tact, authenticity and self-confidence.
The more popular you are, the greater will be your perceived competence. The same is true about being more attractive. Popularity and attractiveness are positive indicators.
Thanks to the halo effect, these factors enhance all other personal attributes, including perceived competence.
Increase Your Popularity
Ingratiation – People like you more the more you compliment them. This is true even of obvious flattery.
Opinion Conformity– People like people who agree with their opinions. But if you go overboard, you’ll come across as a toady.
Self-presentation – Most people intuitively know how to win the favour of others. Being kind and courteous is a great place to start. Underline the similarities you share with others.
Judging other people’s competence is hard; recognizing their incompetence is easier
Assessing other people’s competency is a useful skill. This assumes critical importance when choosing, for instance, a lawyer, a surgeon, or a financial expert.
Try to assess someone’s intelligence instead of competence because it is so challenging to do so. Competence is directly related to and indicated by intelligence.
