Unravel the mystery behind the realization of dreams and desires. Explore the journey of individuals who've turned their wishes into reality, and discover the strategies, mindset, and actions that have played a pivotal role in their success.
People’s wishes are often a reflection of their needs
Fantasizing about fulfilling a wish can sometimes hinder the pursuit of the wish
- Contrasting positive fantasies with relevant internal obstacles can motivate people to devise plans to overcome hurdles and pursue their wishes
- Upon making a wish, people typically followed one of these self-regulatory cognitive patterns
- Spend many pleasant hours in positive fantasies by imagining themselves fulfilling their dreams (indulging).
- Brood over all possible obstacles standing between them and their dreams.
- First fantasize about their desired future, then explore the obstacles (mental contrasting).
Wish Outcome Obstacle Plan
One of the most widely studied wish-fulfillment strategies born from Oettingen’s research is WOOP
- A.k.a. the “Change Agent”
- If you see something in the world that you want, something that is challenging yet feasible because you have some agency over it, this is a framework for turning your positive fantasies into reality
Get to Know Your Wishes-and Your Obstacles
Pay attention to your positive fantasies
- They give the action a direction
- Explore how you would feel already being there
- Then, switch to the obstacle-what is it in you that stands in the way of realizing your wish?
- Try scratching at the surface and go deeper to understand what is behind your obstacle
Positive Fantasies as a Double-Edged Sword
The data was clear: the very images that allowed us to virtually live through our hearts’ desires were having hampering effects on their realization.
- After having tasted winning the monetary prize in their fantasies and mentally attaining their desired future, they were not as concerned about receiving the money from the experimenters right then and there.
Why Mental Contrasting Can Help You Achieve Your Dreams
To get people out of their fantasies and give them the energy to pursue their dreams, we realized that we needed to give them a healthy dose of reality
- When a positive fantasy is contrasted with relevant internal obstacles, a connection is established, linking the desired future with the reality, and the reality with appropriate behavior to overcome it.
