Parent Post
Even though there is
Even though there is often a desire to act aggressively, most people don’t. Instead, they might pout, cry, or embrace some other strategy to express anger in a nonviolent way.
Anger emerges from three interacting factors: a provocation, the person’s interpretation, and their mood at the time.
The provocation is the trigger.
It’s what happened right before you got angry, the thing that ‘made’ you mad.
Prevent anger from happening
Prevent anger from happening in the first place.
The other benefit of having a full understanding of your anger is that it will allow you to intervene in multiple places to manage how you feel.
After identifying the three components of anger experience (provocation, interpretation, the pre-anger state), you can intervene at all stages to decrease and manage anger.
Manage anger by reappraising
Manage anger by reappraising the provocations that can’t be avoided.
Evaluate your thoughts and ask yourself if they’re reasonable or accurate.
The goal here, though, shouldn’t be to lie to yourself and pretend things are fine when they’re not. Rather, you should embrace thoughts that are accurate and representative of what’s actually happening around you.
Use your anger productively.Think
Use your anger productively.
Think of anger as a fuel that can energize you to solve problems.
Like any fuel, though, it can be unstable. If it gets out of control, you can blow up in a way that’s dangerous to yourself or those around you.
So, the first step to using your anger productively is knowing when it’s become a problem for you.
These thoughts are more
These thoughts are more common when we’re in particular moods.
The mood we’re in when the provocation strikes is known as ‘the pre-anger state’ and when we’re tired, stressed, hungry, or in some other negative state, the provocation makes us angrier.
Being able to think about your anger in this way – to understand why you get mad – allows you to take the next steps to develop a healthier relationship with your anger.
Anger can be expressed
Anger can be expressed in an infinite number of ways, and some of them have serious and potentially catastrophic consequences.
People who are chronically angry are more likely to get into physical and verbal fights, drive recklessly, damage property, and abuse alcohol and other drugs.
If you experience such serious negative consequences because of your anger, you should seek professional help and advice.
What to do? Understand
What to do?
Understand your anger
Explore the provocation, your interpretation, and your pre-anger state, but also by asking yourself the following three questions.
Should you be angry? Consider whether or not you’ve really been treated unfairly, whether or not your goals have been blocked.
What does your anger tell you about the situation? Think about what your anger is communicating to you about the circumstances you’re in.
What does your anger tell you about yourself? Evaluating why you get angry, you can learn about your values.
Avoid common provocations.Sometimes, things
Avoid common provocations.
Sometimes, things happen that are unavoidable, but there are other times when you might unnecessarily do things that you know cause anger.
You don’t always need to invite these negative experiences into your life.
For example, you can hide irritating political Facebook posts, or choose a different route to work to avoid traffic frustrations.
While it’s not always healthy to avoid common frustrations, it isn’t always healthy to approach them either.
However, though you might
However, though you might be tempted to categorize expressions of anger as either good or bad, there is never a single right thing to do when you’re angry.
The best thing to do when you’re angry always depends on context.
Sometimes holding in your anger is the best option because expressing it might be risky or unsafe, but suppression can have mental and physical health consequences if you gravitate towards it too often.
But before you actually
But before you actually get angry, you interpret that provocation.
Imagine that you’re insulted by a coworker; interpret what he said was unfair and unreasonable, and feel yourself starting to get angry.
You decide if you can cope you decide how much it matters that he insulted you.
Get to know your
Get to know your pre-anger state.
Once you’ve identified patterns regarding when you’re most likely to get angry, take steps to avoid getting into these states.
By planning ahead, you can often make sure you’re well-rested, avoid letting yourself get too hungry, and try to stay ahead of schedule, so you don’t feel rushed.
When you find yourself tired and irritable, just acknowledging it to yourself can go a long way to mitigating unwanted frustration.
Try ‘traditional’ anger-management approaches.When
Try ‘traditional’ anger-management approaches.
When it comes to tackling anger, many people believe they need to intervene with common anger-management strategies like deep breathing, muscle relaxation, counting to 10, or meditation.
When you’re angry, relaxation approaches have the effect of decreasing unwanted emotional and physiological arousal.
